How to overcome the fear of being judged?

How to overcome the fear of being judged?

The journey of a fearless new manager: building a rock solid mindset in 4 easy steps.

John, a newly promoted manager came to me to work on his deep fear of being judged. 

Deep down he was feeling like an impostor.

This fear was hindering his personal and professional growth. 

He was 44 and wasn’t given this very special opportunity to grow for a long time.

He wanted his promotion to be a success, and get over his long time fear of being discovered as an impostor.

He also wanted to be of service to his team, make each contributor grow and overcome his company’s challenging times (a major period of layoffs).

No matter how difficult the context, by understanding limiting beliefs and mindset road blocks, it is possible to overcome this fear of being judged and develop a rock solid mindset.

In this article, we will explore the step-by-step process I used with my client to eliminate his fear of being judged and I will share with you powerful coaching questions you can also ask yourself to reframe your mindset.

Step 1: recognize and understand the fear

The first step in overcoming the fear of being judged is acknowledging its presence and understanding its impact on your life.

→ How did this fear impacted your life until now?

Reflecting on past experiences and recognizing how this fear affected your self-confidence and decision-making process is key to understanding the “negative” impact of keeping this fear in your life.

Step 2: challenge your assumptions about what others might think.

→ Is it true?

I often like to challenge assumptions with Byron Katie’s 4 step reframing process called “The Work”. Click here to watch a short Youtube video that explains the questioning process.

You can, of course, use these questions and apply them to the fear of being judged.

Understand that these assumptions about what others might think are not based on facts, but on subjective beliefs. 

Start to challenge these assumptions by questioning their validity and considering alternative perspectives.

Step 3: shift your focus inward instead of worrying about the outside world, the “others” and their opinions.

Concentrate on your values, strengths and personal growth. I like to use the 16 personalities assessment to help professionals understand themselves better and use their strengths accordingly. It’s fun and quite short (15 minutes…don’t overthink it).

Step 4: let go of the need to be liked.

Ditch the “pleaser” in you. As a newly promoted manager, John didn’t need to be liked by all the company. He needed to know himself better, use his strengths, stay focused on his priorities, and inspire his team to take action towards a common vision through the lens of their own strenths.

If you want to know more about how being a people pleaser can be detrimental to your well being, here is a previous article I wrote.

Keeping this fear of being judged true, destroyed John’s confidence and capability to take action.

It prevented him from giving great presentations, displaying his solution-oriented mindset and his enthusiasm of building a team based on empathy and respect.

It was keeping him small and disempowered.

After working together, John is embracing taking more risks, openly sharing his opinions, and pursuing new opportunities developing his network based on his authentic leadership.

He is challenging himself to step out of his comfort zone, and acknowledging that growth and success often requires vulnerability and openess.

Now, are you willing to challenge your thoughts, and overcome your fear of being judged?

As a corporate coaching expert with over 20 years of corporate experience in high-stakes, multicultural companies, I understand the challenges  that newly promoted professionals take on their shoulders.

My mission is to help them overcome all these issues and the all-too-common tendency to hustle and prioritize work over their own needs.

If you are ready to make your life easier, then let's talk.