Do you give too much power to people's opinions?
When one of my clients says she feels stuck and powerless at work because of her manager, it makes me sad.
How can a person with 25 years of professional success at a director level feel mistreated, stuck, and ultimately powerless?
Let's start the process of coaching...
My first response to her story was a "feeling" response.
One of my strengths is emotional empathy.
I was in her shoes, feeling for her and her distress as she was giving me multiple examples of the toxic context she was working in.
My first question was the following:
- To what extent are you responsible for giving so much power to the judgment and opinions of your manager, stakeholders, and co-workers?
"I am the only responsible one for allowing that to happen," she said".
Without judging herself, she was right. She was taking ownership of her behavior.
She was starting to empower herself again...
- What is the first step you want to take towards yourself then?
Without a pause, she said that she wanted to relearn how to say NO and set her boundaries.
After some more back and forth, she also recognized that she wanted to make herself her top priority (instead of pleasing everyone and being "nice"all the time) and also practice letting go of people's judgments of her herself.
She is now building self-awareness..;-).
That's what I enjoy the most!
When I see my clients regain the confidence to say YES to themselves, their values, their fulfillment, and joy of living, I know that I am making a difference in their lives.
There is also one key quote I wanted to remind you of from "The Four Agreements" (Don Miguel Ruiz):
" Don't take anything personally.
When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering".
I am grateful to this client for reminding me again of this principle.
What about you?
Does my client’s story ring a bell?
Do you give too much power to other people's opinions?
If so, what would you do to take responsibility for doing so?
